By Klorraine in , , , on 9:54 PM with No comments
I've told my mother when I was sixteen that I was going to give up everything and become a professional hobo. Clearly, I hadn't quite thought that one through. Being a hobo required a lot more discomfort than I was willing to give when I graduated high school. I just remember her looking over her shoulder as she loaded the dishwasher and gave me "the look." My mother has a distinct look she gives my crazy ideas. It is 12% exasperated, 28% encouraging, 30% sarcastic, and 30 % amused. How she manages it in one facial expression is still a mystery to me.

In the last three years I have gotten the look approximately 5 times. I told her I wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer, a professional hobo, a teacher, a dog owner, and the most recent one, a doctor. I love exploring the limits of my knowledge and so far I haven't found the boundary yet. I'm a firm believer in the idea that you can do anything if you really try. So in being a teacher and choosing that path over so many other opportunities scares me sometimes.

I am still at a point in my life where I have so many different dreams, and I'm young enough and crazy enough to feel like I can accomplish them all in my lifetime, that I don't know what to do anymore.

I recently read a book by Jose Luis Vilson called This is Not a Test. It was an amazing read that half encouraged me and half terrified me. I've never been one to settle into one school of thought. I love to change my point of view constantly. In being a teacher, it is an adventure that can last a lifetime. Every day is different and every year there is a new class of kids to manage, teach, and try not to strangle. Vilson's book gave me real insight into the classroom, especially as a new teacher. Being a teacher is more than just lesson planning. I'm aware that I won't know exactly what to expect because when I enter a classroom for the first time it will be a brand new


experience for everything that might possibly happen.

I have no idea the kind of kids I'll encounter. I don't know what kind of school I'll end up in, what kind of city I'll end up in, what kind of environment I'll end up in. And that terrifies me. The biggest city I've ever been too is San Francisco and to be honest, I felt completely lost there. I never thought of myself as swimming in a small fishbowl until then.

So when I read Vilson's experiences, from his blog to his classroom, I had to really evaluate the kind of person I wanted to be as a teacher. I don't want to walk in with rose colored glasses, but I also want to have some hope. I think the most important thing I learned from Vilson was to make mistakes. They are going to happen regardless, I might as well do my best to make myself a better teacher and a better person because of it.

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